Me, The Foodie vs. Michelin Stars

I will probably never be able to eat at a Michelin Star restaurant. And, even if I do get to the point of being able to afford a meal or someone likes me enough to throw me a treat, I suspect I will attribute a reasonably average rating. Now here is why.

I have always been an eater. And I mean the kind of food lover who cannot stop chewing at a good thing. I have my photo in a remote place somewhere as the devourer of two giant Texas steaks in 30 minutes.

And then, of course, there is something like this.

First, it looks like something I would put up on the wall to decorate. The thought of sinking silverware into any of the thirty shapes here should probably be punishable under the law, for vandalism.

Second, I probably would never order this. Not because there is something in here that I am allergic to, but primarily because I would not know what to expect when I read “Roast Scottish diver scallops, carrot purée spiced pork croquette, raisin and caper vinaigrette.” For someone who is a “one of #13 and 2 of number 15” food ordering person, reading that would

Third, the earliest available booking is about three weeks out, at Lucknam Park! I am not sure how to work up an appetite for “Roast Scottish diver scallops, carrot purée spiced pork croquette, raisin and caper vinaigrette” over 21 days.

Fourth, when I am hungry, I am hungry, not just strutting and swooning around food. If I needed to feed a genuine with this (not feeling like eating again till the next meal time), I would need approximately four servings of this, with some grain— rice, bread, or, on a bad day, maybe quinoa. Adding grain to any part of this plate is probably punishable for vandalism.

Where I am from, there is a day in the year when a son-in-law gets invited to visit the wife's parent’s house and serve a feast — the occasion is called Jamai Sasthi. A Jamai Sasthi feast will look like the photo below.

Now you know! I eat to eat, not make love to my food.

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Sayantan Datta

Sayantan Datta

Sayantan, the author of these pages, was born in Kolkata. He is a management & business consultant by profession and a published poet.